Please allow me to introduce Myself. I am Aunt Constance, & I have the Happy Honor of reading your Questions relating to Manners both in and out of the Home, Dress  Sense, from Top Hat to Hob Nail, & of course: Matters of Love;  –although upon that Subject, methinks Nobody can attest to being a true Expert…

I will welcome all reasonable Inquiries about how to partake of the Amusements of a Ball-room & conduct oneself at Assemblies. Dancing is one of the most genteel Accomplishments a young Lady can possess. It gives a natural, easy and graceful Air to all the Motions of the Body.   Let us not ignore the subject of Impropriety, and how to preclude unkind Gossip.

My Dear Ladies—& Gentlemen too, let me hear your Thoughts & and your own Tried & True Advice to Young Ladies on the Improvement of the Mind. I look forward to your interesting Missives which I will treat with no want of Respect and will respond to with the Language of the Heart.

ear Constance,

What are your feelings about computer dating?  I have friends who are into chatting online with other so-called singles. One pal spends a lot of time doing this and she tells me that the conversation is usually about sex.  In fact, she has gone out with one of the guys she’s been talking to. I guess I’m a little old-fashioned because I certainly wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to a stranger about such things, let alone meeting them in person. 
The whole business strikes me as being dishonest. Isn’t it about people lying about their looks their ages and occupations, and pretending to be daring about their “experiences”.

What ever happened to meeting people through mutual friends and building a relationship before things develop into a physical relationship.

I am 28 years old, and I am not unattractive and I would like to meet someone nice but not through a computer dating service. I work in a small company in the accounting department, and am a member of a local community center, where there are not many men. And yes, I do have a computer and I do use the Internet.

Yours truly,

Dear Member of The Resistance,

I fully concur with you, and understand your reluctance in wanting to place your heart into the hands of  that most heartless of matchmakers, that artificial Yenta; a computer dating service. What a seemingly far-fetched idea it is, even yet, to reveal one’s innermost thoughts to an unknown public. How poignant—or absurd— is hoping that the act of sending forth our vulnerable Internet  identities into a purgatory of perplexity, a gauntlet of garrulousness, dare I say, a vortex of vulgarity, might culminate in the discovery of our soul mate.

Oh my, I certainly feel better for that outburst! Of course, that’s not to say that virtual dating doesn’t have it’s good points…

…I must confess that under certain circumstances I believe that even impersonal communication is better than no communication. The Internet brings with it the hope of a communication that is somewhat  free from the impediments of irrelevant physical characteristics. The greatest irony of the Internet may very well be that, despite the fact that the people doing the communicating are not close to each other in a real situation, it has the overall effect of making our social intentions more easily categorized and understood.

 I have an acquaintance who lives in a semi-remote part of western Canada, and who is always out of his home working as a painter and restorer. He is a loquacious and philosophical man who desires the company of others, but for one reason or another is not able to put himself in a face-to-face situation with people. For him, I maintain that discussing Art online, with an empathetic person, in a virtual coffee shop couldn’t hurt, and might in fact lead to contented co-habitation. 

So, I’d advise you not to condemn before you investigate.

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