Please allow me to introduce Myself. I am Aunt Constance, & I have the Happy Honor of reading your Questions relating to Manners both in and out of the Home, Dress  Sense, from Top Hat to Hob Nail, & of course: Matters of Love;  –although upon that Subject, methinks Nobody can attest to being a true Expert…

I will welcome all reasonable Inquiries about how to partake of the Amusements of a Ball-room & conduct oneself at Assemblies. Dancing is one of the most genteel Accomplishments a young Lady can possess. It gives a natural, easy and graceful Air to all the Motions of the Body.   Let us not ignore the subject of Impropriety, and how to preclude unkind Gossip.

My Dear Ladies—& Gentlemen too, let me hear your Thoughts & and your own Tried & True Advice to Young Ladies on the Improvement of the Mind. I look forward to your interesting Missives which I will treat with no want of Respect and will respond to with the Language of the Heart.

ear Constance,

Dear Constance,

If she were alive today, I wonder what Jane Austen would have to say about the current social trends, the world in general and our preoccupation with celebrity?

My Dear Reader,

Methinks I have a fanciful thought for an Entertainment that would, as well, serve to incorporate your queries. Let us forthwith put paper to ink—
as it were—and concoct a fictional meeting between myself and the good lady writer in question, wherein she shall share her thoughts. Let it be known that we shall use Austen’s very words, as they were recorded for posterity.

Question: I’ll get the obvious question out of the way Ms. Austen—and I hope you don’t mind me addressing you that way— (Wearing her trademark bonnet, Austen shakes her head) We have heard that you were shocked and displeased when you heard about the advent of the modern “writing-machine” that is known as the computer. What do you think of this startling development?
J.A: “Surprises are foolish things. The pleasure is not enhanced, and the inconvenience is often considerable.”

Question: What do you think about some of our contemporary writers—Say for example Danielle Steele, Anne Rice or Stephen King?
J.A: “Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery.”

Question: Miss Austen—I’m sure you play the markets, are you concerned about making a bad decision?
J.A: “If things are going untowardly one month, they are sure to mend the next.”

Question: We’re wondering what it was you said to that gadabout, Paris Hilton, before she started behaving in such a ridiculous manner?
J.A: “A woman, especially, if she have the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can.”

Question: And now the obvious question Ms. Austen; of the current slew of male film stars, who are you disposed towards liking? Is it Clooney, Pitt, or that Englishman Jude Law?
J.A: The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love.

Question: There is a widespread belief, Ms. Austen, that a well-known head of government has seldom— if ever— picked up a book. What do you have to say about that?
J.A: “The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”

Question: If I may get serious for a moment Jane, how do you feel about those who would pollute and destroy our natural world?
J.A: “They are much to be pitied who have not been given a taste for nature early in life.”

Question: You were asked recently to react to the alarming fact that Global Warming is a reality. What was it you said that made people sit up and take notice of the warning signs?
J.A: “What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance. To sit in the shade on a fine day, and look upon verdure is the most perfect refreshment.”

Question: If we asked you to justify the existence of reality shows, for what reason do you think we have created such trivia?
J.A: “For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors and laugh at them in our turn?”

Question: In closing Ms. Austen, over all, we hear that you were quite happy with the latest film treatment of your novel: Pride and Prejudice? What do you like best about the film?
J.A: “A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.”

To send Dear Constance an email, please fill out the form below. Name: Email Address: Comments: We Also Recommend: Anne of Green Gables Paperback Magazine Basket Pride & Prejudice DVD